Sunday, April 21, 2013

Good news

The good news is that we finaly have our own apartment in a place called Eindhoven ^^.
It's quite big :) for two people. Living room photo's and weird cats :), The other rooms are not quite finished yet :p I will post photo's when it is done.
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Bad news

It's been a long time again since the last post.
And a lot has happend ever since,
bad news & good news.
And I always start with the bad news.

In january we heard the bad news about my uncle that they found lungcancer stadium 4.
It was hard to believe, so unreal. a new year beginning with bad news.
And we don't even have such a big family. He died on february 17th.
It all went too fast, we didn't even had the time to understand what was happening.
He was the father of my causin Kelly, who is also my best friend.
And now I'm to scared to open the map with family pictures and movies .____. because to me, it still feels unreal, as a dream. I still have the feeling that he is around, maybe he is? we will never know.

I miss him and love and I will never forget him.
I have a tattoo in memory of him
I will post the good news in another post.

I even made a poem for him [not that good, but I was depressed and Im not that good with english ]
Dedicated to Uncle Jan.
The news came unexpected.
as a slap into my face.
never knew that you were going...
That you were leaving this place.

I still remember that you were smiling
Everything was all right.
But no one knew this unexpected journey
towards the everlasting light...
Seeing you struggle broke my heart.
and shattered my soul too.
Standing by your side, so that you weren’t alone.
Was the only thing we could do.

But you were strong and you fought hard
and I am proud of you.
Even though this disease has taken away
the best man that I had ever knew.

It’s hard to let you go, uncle Jan.
And I know that I will never do.
It is better that you don’t feel any pain now.
This live is just not the same without you.

And the things that you have taught us,
will continue further on
as your memories will be.
until our own lives are gone.

You were a good husband, father, brother, uncle and friend one can ever imagine.
Thank you for everything. We miss you so much and we love you forever.
We will meet again.
Ray & Tayfun


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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Our christmas, lol


Didn't have a christmas tree, so I made something different lol.




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Almost over

Wow, ever had that feeling that the year is gone more quickly than you can get a hold on?
I had this feeling for months now, I'm 24 now ...jesus.
If you had read about my socialphobia/Agoraphobia, well I have made progress ;). It's not as big as you think it will be, but for someone with my condition it means the world.
I can now go alone to the supermarket [although always the same one]. Getting over your fears is a pain in the ass to do, but I have to tell you that if you want to get rid of your fears the only thing you have to do is to, make your mind clear of negative thoughts, try it, and keep on trying because if you repeat your steps over and over again, the fear becomes less and the road becomes more clear.
Repetition is the key to overcome your fears.
I do talk to a psychologist. I don't really need her, I did most of it on my own. But it is nice to talk to someone who sees it differently, she only helps me to discover the core of my fears, I still do not know it yet, but at least I am on my road again. I had met a lot of psychologists who didn't took me serieus, and if I was helped at an instant It wouldn't have been this bad, but I finally found someone who is good at her job. You have to dig through a lot of shit before you find a good one.
The weirdest thing though, is that I can get social only when I am very angry or if someone needs help. :S and it's quite difficult to get me angry :p.

 I have also made 2x a trip with the train alone, to see my boyfriend at work, yes you read it right he has a job :).
So the luck definitely comes our way :) and I'm thankfull

My short story, as I read last posts, is now at 11.750 words. and my big story at 15.090 words :)
I'm not a fast writer, I have a lot of other hobbies too :).

I have sold two of my furniture, that I had repainted. I can't make furniture with old pallets, I wanted to do it though,.. still want it. but that will come eventually. these one have been sold.

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Saturday, June 30, 2012

It was amazing

Day 1
So we went to London [June 11th 2012, in the Netherlands would it be as '11-06-2012'].
We had an amazing time together! the only thing what got on my nerves was the bus travel to london. We were in a traffic jam, and the bus was driving to slowly, it felt like it was an endless road from the netherlands, through belgium/france to London. We arrived in London, at the hotel The royal national, an hour later than we expected.
But, we knew our ways so when we got our hotel keys, ran towards the lift [elevator]. ran through an almost endless hallway [with contantly visions of the twins from the movie the Shining :P]. opened the door and threw our suitcases inside, and made our way first to Sainsbury's, to get some food and drink and when that was done we made our way to Russel Square/Piccadilly line underground.
And there we were in Piccadilly Circus! It was late though, it was raining hard, and shops were closed, except for HMV, and that was the reason why we went :P. Tayfun bought a lot of dvd's and a shirt from Family guy. Soaked from the rain, but we went back happy after all.

Day 2
was also a rainy day, but not as much as the first day.
We went to Camden/Stables market. But we arrived there to early, the stores weren't open yet.
It's our favorite place to be if you want something entirely different. we bought a lot of things there, even the souvenirs for our families. I even bought souvenirs for my own, lol.
I also bought two shirts, with a print from the art of Banksy.
Tayfun bought some shirts there [five in total]. There is also someone who sells fresh orange juice on the corner of some street there, my favorite drink so far, it was delicious!
The best place to eat is at Stables Market, you have there all kinds of food, we ate pizza ;).
Then we made our way back to the hotel, threw our stuff there, and walked to the British Museum, what was just 10 minutes away from us. There was a lot to see, I can't really explain what I saw, you have to see it for yourself :) We loved it.

Day 3
was Big Ben day, a very nice and sunny day, and all of the things that's around. I was excited when I saw the house of parliament + Big Ben. We made photos of it, and photo's of us with the big ben on the background. we ate icecream, and we had a nice background music from a man with a bagpipe.
We saw the London's Eye, we didn't go in though. It was crowded!, and I don't want to waste an half hour just for being up there+ an half hour for waiting to be next, we don't have the time for that :P. so we walked around and we saw some street performers and we walked over the hugerford bridge back, and walked to St james park. St James Park is a very beautiful park, with a lot of squirls, but to be honest we have seen squirls there in every park, there was even one squirell in park nearby our hotel :D. We bought a peanut bag [the ones with the shell still on it] to feed the squirls, it was fun :). I wished we had parks like that here in the Netherlands, I think that they have parks in noord/zuid Holland. But not here in Brabant.
We searched on our way back for the Sherlock Holmes pub, we didn't know that we walked passed it when we were on our way to the Big Ben, we found it and made a photo of it, lol :D.

Day 4
We went back to Camden, because we had enough time still left before we went to Hyde park and Kensington Gardens, it was going to be a long trip [we always walk ;)] so we bought the delicious orange juice again and some food before we left camden for our 'pilgrim' walk towards the park. We first needed to walk our way through Oxford street, not our kind of shops ;) it was crowded and the weather was hot! After a while we entered hyde park, the park was big and very beautifull, very alive.
people walking, sporting, being there with there kids, picknicking, sleeping on the grass. VERY ALIVE. I really liked the atmosphere. we sat there in the grass for a while, drinking, resting, eating making photo's, of course. and after being a bit rested we made our way to Kensington Gardens.
At first we were a bit lost, it's a very big place. but we found it, and it was beautiful and very big D:
and again very alive, you don't see that here. astonishing[ I am someone who loves parks, and nature and such ;P]. '

Day 5
Our way back to the netherlands, lots of traffic jam, tired, rainy weather.

I made 500 photo's ;)





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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

^_^

Oh my god.
Didn't update this blog for months!
Nothing really has changed however. Tayfun still hasn't found a job and I'm still on way to get rid of my socialfobia/fear to go outside alone. I can only go outside with Tayfun.
I have a new hobby! well I still need to try it first.
I want to make furniture, made of pallets, rustic distressed furniture.
I want to sell it too, so I have a kind of job...
I hope it works out, because I'm really stressed out lately. Can't find jobs here in the Netherlands. Tayfun can't find any because he is too old for everything [He's 23 years old] He wants to be a a film producer, I hope his dream will come true. I still need to finish my story, I'm on 10.000 words right now. That's something for me since I have never wrote any stories xD. Also, we can't find a house, everything is expensive :C. Please send us more luck and hope, send us jobs and houses ! XD.
There is one positive thing what we have waited for so long. 10-05-2012 is the date that we go to London for 5 days! YES. 2007 was the last time we were on a vacation :O so it's going to be Amazing!.
I'm so going to make so much Photo's and Video's! Our dream country!


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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy Newyear/ 2012

Whishing everyone a Happy Newyear! :D
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